Life As I Know It

I broke up with Drew again.

Probably for the final time.

It wasn't like the other splits.

It didn't start with a fight. It didn't end with crying and pleas for "Just one more chance."

It was 6 text messages, 20 minutes, and barely any emotion. Except my friends staring at me asking why I wasn't crying.

It's because I was done. I was done with the blistering arguments that we would have. I was done with the lack of care that either of us had. I wanted more. I didn't want to be in a relationship because I wanted to be in a relationship.

I wanted to be in a relationship because I wanted to be with the person.

So I ended it. Finally, right? I've been dumped 3 times. I deserved to hold the reigns at least once.

I care about him. I always will. But I want someone that I don't have to struggle with. Someone sweet, funny, cute. Someone that I don't have trust issues with. Someone I don't have screaming contests with.

I'm already interested in someone, but we're taking it slow and I'm going to keep it private because I don't feel like making it into a sideshow. I really like the person, and I really want to make it work without laying it out for the world to see.

----

My journalism professor handed me a brief note on a piece of paper today.

I expected it to be a graded assignment, maybe some kind of reprimand (which is why I got nervous).

When I read it, I got so excited.

My professor nominated me for an award as an outstanding student in the communications department.

How awesome is that?

My day has been great. I've been talking to a great guy, getting all my work done, no problems with anyone.

Hopefully the rest of my week is the same.

The Meaning of Life

And it was on SALE.

Slummin' It

I've been really tired lately, which is unusual for me.

Of course if you asked any of my friends, they would say that's not true.
My typical response to "How are you?" is "Tired."

But that's just the first thing that pops into my head.

I'm usually pretty spry. Sometimes my impaired vision makes me dizzy, causing me to think I'm tired, but otherwise I'm wide awake.

But today I could barely keep my eyes open. I was so slow. I felt like I was going to pass out.

Our group paper is due tomorrow, so we have to put the finishing touches on it tonight.

And by the way, why is coffee so expensive? I spent $4 today on some coffee with chocolate syrup poured in it. Seriously? I can make it SO much cheaper at home. I could buy an entire lunch for $4.

Not like it helped. The caffeine crash is what killed me today.

Hopefully this weekend I can relax. I really need it. I have a midterm next week, and then spring break the week after that.

Luckily, I won't have any homework over spring break.

I also will be taking the week off work because I literally cannot tolerate being there on a week I could take off.

Too much stress at my job. My mom has given me free reign over whether I decide to quit or not. That's how stressful it has been getting.

I'm working two jobs, doing four classes, and having a relationship. Things are not as simple as I wish they were.

Six more classes and I'm a college graduate... just six more. That's 1 1/2 semesters. I can do this. I can do this.

Invasion of the Body Snatcher

I'm pretty sure that my body has been snatched by a massive girly-girl.

Never in my life have I been that interested in girly things.
Sure, I wear makeup. Sure, I do my hair. But that's just because I like to look nice.

Plenty of people that are not girly do those things.

But suddenly, everything has changed.

I like the color pink. All of my electronics are pink. All of them.
Oh, except my laptop. It's white.
In a pink carrying case.

My Ipod is in a pink silicone cover.I think that's what started it. Ever since then I've started incorporating pink into almost everything that I buy.

Except my clothes. For some reason they're always in lovely hues of gray and black.

I did my nails this weekend pink with gold tips.

My trip to walmart consisted of $10 worth of fruit, bubble bath, lip gloss, mascara and a nail kit.

It used to consist of Yugioh cards and other really guyish things. I feel like I've lost my way.
I've turned into a girl.

Last night I was up until 11 pre-curling my hair to insure perfect bouncibility when I woke up this morning.

I also had to replace my cellphone this weekend because it was malfunctioning. I managed to also scratch the (bottom) of the screen with an exacto knife trying to put on the screen cover.

Needless to say, it didn't work. So I bought new screen covers, and am currently using the temporary one until the new ones come.

The new ones are really cool anyway. They're mirrored.
There's actually a video about how it works that's pretty neat.

While I was buying all that stuff, I took the liberty of fully embracing my girly side and bought some more cellphone accessories.

I have to keep this phone for 2 years, so I'm doing everything humanly possible to keep from breaking it.

I bought another cover for the phone. (I already have a plain pink one.)

And then I bought a leather pouch to carry the phone in so that I REALLY can't break it.
Needless to say, I feel like I'm going to cry if I break a nail, and I fear that I've gotten one step closer to dying my hair bleach blonde.

This cannot end well.

edit: I FORGOT, MY BLUETOOTH IS ALSO PINK.

Skin Matters

As most of you know, I've been struggling with acne pretty much my entire teenage life.

For the past 7 years I've dealt with breakouts that were mild, and some so painful that I would cry looking in the mirror.

Recently I developed a lot of cysts and acne that was completely unmanageable.

I could not move my face or smile/frown because it would painfully twinge one of my cysts.

When people think of acne, they automatically relate it to being unclean. This is a very unfair assumption. I clean my face 2-3 times a day, depending on whether I'm wearing makeup or not.

For a while my skin was doing okay. It was not clear, but it was manageable. But then I had to switch birth control, and my topical medicine was not working anymore.

Long story short, this was my skin on February 12.Yeah, that bad.

It is embarrassing when you can't feel comfortable leaving the house without make. I didn't even feel comfortable leaving the house WITH makeup.

Makeup only goes so far to cover up the redness.

I stopped taking my birth control and started using this:My doctor suggested all of them. I thought the last two were weird, but after only a few weeks my skin is looking a lot better.

It's not perfect, not by a long shot. I've got redness to fade and a few tiny leftover breakouts to clear. But if I had to leave the house right now, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Unless it really is the end of the world right now... then yeah. It'd be the end of the world.

Peter Facihottie

Because I work for an entertainment website, oftentimes I have to go out and cover different events.

I don't care if it's for my dad. I get a press pass. YOU DON'T GET A PRESS PASS!

While it's cool to see local celebrities going down the carpet in front of the media line, it can get very boring very fast to always see the same faces.

Trust me, seeing Criss Angel and Carrot Top a hundred times is not much of a treat.

I squished myself into the press line, full of photographers and interviewers, and grabbed the best spot that I could to do my duty.

Trust me, it can get really crowded when hundreds of people are crammed behind a few velvet ropes.

I figured that I would snap a few pictures of the local celebs, and then go off and mingle or get a drink. Anything to numb the boring pain that the locals tend to cause.

Imagine my surprise when Peter Facinelli turned the corner with his wife.I. Died.

For those of you that don't know, Peter Facinelli plays Dr. Cullen in the Twilight movies.In other words, he's like Twilight royalty to those of us that are fans.

I'll admit it. I squealed. I squealed like a little pig being chased around a farm.

I started rapidly snapping pictures, hoping to get the perfect glimpse of him. My camera is rather wimpy compared to the other photographers, and they're rather bulky. So I was standing on my tip-toes trying to shoot over their heads.

But I did get some good shots, even if they are only profile.

After he walked away, none other than Neil Patrick Harris walked up.Once again, I squealed. I just couldn't help myself. I don't care if he's gay, he's sexy.

Once again, snap snap snap taking pictures. I was loving every minute of it. I got some better shots of Neil than I did of Peter.

Then who showed up? Perez Hilton.

He's kind of a douche. I wanted to take a picture with him later, and he snubbed me to take a picture with one of his little blonde bimbo friends. Jerk.

I also saw Taye Diggs. He is HOT.Of course the list goes on and on of cool celebrities that came my way. It was a very good night.

Now I've got a lot of schoolwork to do, and barely enough time to do it. I have two assignments due on Wednesday, both I haven't started. (I didn't even know we had them.)

I have a group paper due next Thursday, which I would be working on now except NONE of my group has told me WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO. I am NOT going to fail this because of them, so I'm considering sitting down and writing an entire paper by myself, and letting them plug their things into it so that I KNOW it will be done.

I'm tired of people that aren't motivated. It is infuriating.

I bought some new clothes this weekend, and my mom is going to get me a Bluetooth so I can talk on my phone hands-free again.

This week is going to be way too busy, with not enough time.

"Miss J"

This week has been nice. Really.

It's been less stressful. More me-time, more friend-time.

Of course, the whole "walk into class on Tuesday only to realize there's a test you didn't study for" thing didn't help with the stress. But I guessed my ass off and pulled an 8/10.

I'm a good guesser.

We have a group paper due in two weeks. I really hate group papers. I don't hate working with other people. I simply hate resting my grade on someone else. I want credit for my work and my competence, no one else.

We have been working in the studio in the radio class. We've been working on our "DJ" personality. We simply have to know how to speak like a radio DJ. It varies based on the format of station you're speaking for, but the basic concept is the same.

For whatever reason, I decided to go with "Hot 97.5." My teacher said we have to have "attitude" when doing a station like this. I had to create a "DJ" name, so I went with "Miss J" for absolutely no reason.

I didn't think about "Miss J" from America's Next Top Model until I had already taken the plunge, and even then my friend pointed it out before I noticed. There was no going back.

Now whenever I say "You're listening to Miss J," I imagine myself as a cross-dressing man with amazing legs and an attitude.As if this wasn't bad enough, my Professor told me I should do a "sassy snap" after I say my name.

I lost it. I was laughing too hard. I started yelling about being a transvestite, and blamed my friend Heather for reminding me of Miss J from ANTM. Everyone in the class was laughing hysterically, including the Professor.

I got it together, did my thing and got through it without stumbling over anything.

It went a little something like this:

"You're listening to HOT 97.5, your music all day, everyday.
I'm Miss J *sassy snap*, and you just heard Poker Face by Lady Gaga.
Coming up on June 2nd the Running Rebels will be having a charity event at the Thomas and Mack arena.
There's going to be lots of special guests and fun, so make sure you come on down to support Saint Jude Children's Hospital!
You can get tickets at ticketmaster.com.
Don't turn that dial, you're listening to Miss J *sassy snap* on HOT 98.9, the music you want, all day, everyday."

And then everyone applauded.
No, really. Everyone applauded.

I'm surprised I got through it. The first time I "sassy snapped," I could see the professor laughing hysterically through the glass. But I just rolled with it.

I stayed after with my friends to practice more.I feel like a real DJ when I'm in front of the mic. It's really fun.

While practicing I said something remarkably stupid.

"You're listening to 87.9, Las Vegas' classic music station.
You just heard Beethoven's symphony.
Would you like to win ticket's to Beethoven's conce...eeee...rr... wait."

There's no recovering from that.

I am learning recovery though.

"We'll be at Mood nightclub tonight for ladies night!
We'll be setting up at around 8 AM... well wait, 8 AM is too early for a nightclub!
We'll be there at 8 PM!"

Oh yeah, I'm smooth.

I have recordings of myself with music doing this, so maybe I can find a way to show you.

You're listening to Miss J on PerpetualBurnBlog.com, today's hottest blog from yesterday and today.